Grief Feelings Healthy Versus Unhealthy
There is no simple answer to grief. Though grief is a completely natural part of being a human being there is nothing pleasant about it. But one thig for sure is there are many grief feelings.
Feelings about grief are normal. And while they are normal, some feelings that come with grief add insult to injury, making our suffering worse.
With this said, it is easier said this done to let go of these feelings.
Grief Is Normal
At one point or another, every person alive will experience this emotion in their lifetime. Grief is a bit different than simply feeling sad or upset.
This grief is a much stronger experience usually brought about by a dramatic life change. This may be the death of a loved one, an unexpected health diagnosis, or some kind of traumatic upheaval.
Is Grief The Same for Everyone
While everyone will experience grief at some time. The way it manifests from person to person almost always varies. We are all unique individuals going through life with wildly different perspectives.
However, there are certain responses to grief that are either healthy or unhealthy, regardless of who is experiencing them.
In this article, we are going to discuss a few healthy and unhealthy responses to grief so that you are more aware of how you or someone in your life is handling a difficult place in life.
Healthy Responses to Grief
Allowing Yourself Enough Time To Heal
Given that grief is brought caused by a traumatic life experience, it is crazy to think that getting through the process should be quick.
It makes no sense to pretend like everything is okay and back to normal. When someone tells you it’s time to get over it or feeling as if you should have ‘gotten over it’ by now is nonsense. This is a time to take care of yourself.
The grieving process, requires taking time be kind to yourself. And it is important to know that there is no set time-frame for your situation. Even if there is said to be a cycle of grief, that it not to say that it works. But in my personal thoughts, some cycles are merely there to put things into a neat bundle. But is that realistic or true for all people?
Do Cycles Help With About Grief Feelings
Cycles and systems can serve a purpose for example when giving a simple answer to what is grief. It can be helpful for some people who need to know what to expect as they move through grief. It may act to give hope as an end to a cycle.
Grieving cycles may be helpful when helping another dealing with grief or trying to understand someone in your life going through a similar ordeal. But grief is malleable, it changes and it is unique to each person. These cycles help to understand some of feeling when grieving such as anger and sadness.
The Difference Between Alone Time & Isolation
It is normal to want to be alone more than usual when experiencing grief. Being alone is a healthy way to gather your thoughts and sort things out mentally. However, extended periods of isolation in which you shut yourself off to the outside world entirely not the right decision.
As humans, we are social creatures, and this includes dealing with tough emotional situations. Giving yourself or someone, you know time alone during the grief process is healthy as long as this does not turn into complete isolation.
Feel Safe To Vent
Grief is one of the strongest emotions that a person can feel. Therefore, there is often a huge buildup of emotional tension. And if kept bottled up, these pent up feeling can be extremely detrimental when moving forward. It is important to understand that venting is okay, as long as it is not harmful to you or anyone else.
If you need the ear of someone close to you to pour your heart out, let them know. If punching your pillow for half an hour gives you a bit of peace, knock it out. Emotions of this magnitude must not be suppressed. You need to have safe way to vent whether in support a group or getting a coach or someone who listens without judgement or loading you up on ‘advice’.
Unhealthy Responses
Chronic Denial
Although denial is somewhat common in the early stages of the grieving process, this becomes unhealthy in a chronic state.
In an attempt to protect itself, the mind will often try to block the traumatic event, forming a sort of fantasy in which it never happened. Among other things, chronic denial inhibits the healing process. When a person never accepts whatever terrible thing has happened, a vicious cycle occurs that never allows any resolution.
Risk-Taking Behavior
When moving in grief it is somewhat common for a person to engage in uncharacteristically risky behavior. Grief hurts and its normal to want to dull the pain.
Whether to vent, suppress the hurt or forget what has happened, the individual may turn to external coping mechanisms such as gambling, drugs, alcohol, or life-threatening acts. Why this is an unhealthy response needs no explanation.
However, it is important that if you are experiencing this behavior that you seek help. Likewise, if you notice this grief response in someone else. It is critical that you take action to prevent one tragedy from leading to another.
Guilty Feelings About Grief
When referring to excessive guilt, we are not talking about a situation in which you are grieving something for which you are responsible for. That is an entirely different animal. Instead, many people feel a sense of unwarranted guilt for a traumatic situation.
They feel like they could have done more to prevent it or like they may have been an underlying cause of the event. This response not only hinders the healing process, it also takes an immense toll on a person’s emotional and physical health.
In time you will likely reach a level of acceptance. This does not mean that you are okay with the loss but you acknowledge the loss. This is a time when you can begin to make changes in living alongside your grief, or even create a new normal in time.
