How to Support Someone In Their Grief
Grief is something all of us will face in life at one point or another. A loss can be devastating and debilitating. But one thing is sure, the grief process is made much more healthy with the support of someone who is well meaning and caring. If you are the caring person who wants to help then we’ve put together 5 ways to support someone grieving.
A Little About Grief
Grief often relates to the loss of a loved one, but it can also relate to the loss of anything. You can grieve the loss of a job, a lifestyle, or even an old home. And, eventually you will know someone who is grieving. Another important thing to know is that a grieving person may not be up front about how badly your support is needed. This is often due to denial or pride or they just cannot din find a way to express their own needs. You need unobtrusive ways to comfort them that make them feel loved and accepted.
Read on for 5 supportive actions to help those grieving.
1. Be Genuine and There for Them
Be genuine when you communicate with someone who is grieving. Avoid minimizing, giving advice not asked for or offering a bunch of solutions. The grieving don’t need a fixer, they need an ear. One of the best things to say is, “I’m here and I care.”
The first and easiest thing you can do is just be there for someone. Show up, don’t bring up anything sad if they don’t, and be a presence in the life of your grieving friend or loved one. They may not want to do whatever you usually do together, or that may be exactly what they need. Just be a consistent, positive presence in their life.
2. Offer Practical Support
Sometimes a grieving person needs practical help. Grief can cause you to let go of yourself and your home. If you notice that your friend or loved one could use someone to run to the store for them, help them clean, or take care of their kids, be that person! Offer your help. If they don’t accept it, don’t be offended. They will appreciate that you asked and remember you if they change their mind.
3. Let Them Talk About The Deceased
You might think that talking about a lost friend or loved one might further someone’s pain, but the opposite is true. Never talking about them and acting like they didn’t exist is denial and it will worsen someone’s pain.
So, if someone wants to talk a bit about their lost loved one, let them. They will probably want to reminisce about the good times. They may also need to work through grief about things they did or didn’t do while that person was around.
4. Help Them to Deal With Their Guilt
According to Psychotherapist Mark Tyrell, you should encourage them to let go of the guilt and commit to living a life that will honor the deceased, even if that means forgetting about them for a little while.
This advice may seem contradictory to the last topic, but sometimes grieving people carry so much guilt that it’s best to take it slow. If they need to focus on their life before they can let go of the past, then that is the best option. At other times, your grieving friend or loved one might need to talk through their guilt with you.
5. Distinguish Grief From Trauma
Grief is a response to trauma. Trauma is an event and people process trauma in different ways than they do grief. However, the two are related. If your friend or loved one is having flashbacks to an event, and terror rather than sadness, they may be experiencing trauma. This trauma will have to be worked through in order to deal with their grief.
Concluding How to Support Someone Grieving
For help with both grief and trauma, professionals are available. A professional will know the steps to take to get your mental health back on track. Make sure, though, that you are ready for help. Follow all the steps on this list and pair that with a desire to be better. It’ll take a while, but you will get there.
