What Is Grief? A Simple Explanation
There is no simple answer to the big question – what is grief? It’s a complex subject and one that is unique to each of us. So keep in mind this is merely an attempt to give a simple explanation to a complex set of emotions.
Like most things in life, its handy to have a an explanation to help us understand. But what is grief is one of those questions that simply cannot be wrapped up in a neat ball. Grief is complex, what is painful for you has a unique level of pain for someone else. So keep in mind this is broad and what you feel when you grieve is unique for you.
What’s Grief – the Big Question
While the question posed by the title of this article may seem obvious. But grief is a particularly interesting and complex (set of) emotion (s). We all know that it is caused by a extremely unfortunate and often life changing event. This may be the death of a loved one, or a negative change in life. Such as a loss of a job, health issue, a move or another disruption in life. It may be one event of an accumulation of events that bring about these emotions.
Pinning down an actual definition that sufficiently describes grief is not a simple task.
It is easy to see how grief is commonly used as a synonym for other emotions such as sadness, hurt and frustration. Although there are similarities between these emotions, grief is an experience very unique to itself.
First of all, the times in life when a person truly experience grief are not fleeting moments that quickly fade away. People will remember the periods in their life that were so upsetting. So painful that they felt the true emotions and discourse that grief entails.
What About Sadness
On the other hand, feeling sad is a fairly common occurrence for the majority of individuals. Most of the time, sadness is resolved rather quickly, coming, and going without any lasting changes to life. With sadness, there doesn’t tend to be a process for working through the situation. Though there is likely a process that is subtle therefore goes with less notice. This is the same for other emotions often associated with grief like hurt and frustration.
What is Grief and the Grieving Process
Unlike sadness that often passes in time, grief may last longer.While sadness is experienced with grief there are a lot more emotions that go hand in hand with grief. In addition to to emotions, health may be impacted as everything is connected. We cannot separate mind, body and spirit from each other.
Grieving Process
You are probably familiar with the term, “grieving process,” and this term really describes what this emotion is, a process.
There are multiple stages of the grieving process that people tend to go through. It is said that there are 5 stages of grief. And that grief moves in a cycle. In my experience there are numerous parts of the cycle. Many come in waves and together ad various combinations. And I did not have a particular cycle if grief.
So though it is said about the stages, it is more than possible that you will experience some, all or a unique grieving process, since it s unique to you.
With this said, today we are talking about grief from the frame of attempting to answer “what is grief”. The example of stages applies as a way to give a process for understanding.
What is universal, however, is that reaching a state of healing after an event monumental enough to cause true grief takes time, sometimes a lot of it.
Grief and Disruption
Another unique aspect of grieving is that, unlike weaker negative emotions, unresolved grief can very easily disrupt a person’s entire life. For example, we have all heard of people becoming completely derailed after a tragic event.
This can look like substance abuse, wildly uncharacteristic behavior, isolation from the outside world and complete loss of interest in hobbies and activities. Getting upset at a rude comment or becoming frustrated at a boss or colleague doesn’t possess nearly this much power.
It most certainly has the ability to become a detriment to an individual’s life far down the road. Therefore it is especially important that those experiencing it are allowed to sufficient time to work through the process.
Furthermore, dealing with this pain alone is very difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish. Whether experiencing this emotion personally or being aware that someone else is going through it. For many people being surrounded by those who love, and care is critical. Some emotions are too intense to be dealt with alone.
A Series of Conflicting Emotions
The death of a loved one is extremely saddening, whereas the knowledge that they are no longer experiencing the pain and suffering that went on for a long time due to a terminal disease can be comforting.
Moving out of a home filled with years of fond memories and leaving behind a familiar city can certainly feel painful. But the excitement of a new job, new school or new opportunities can ease much of the pain. So it is understandable to see how loss is an extremely complex emotional experience.
Concluding What is Grief
Grief is a lot of things occurring simultaneously. It is deep sadness, loss and hurt blended with release, newness, and resolve. Trying to place a concrete definition on such a strong emotion deprives the individual experiencing it the validation required to work through it.
