What is Chronic Sorrow
If you are deeply sad and it seems like its never ending, it’s possible that you are struggling with chronic sorrow. Today we give a brief overview of this more complex issue. So let’s look at what is chronic sorrow, possible causes and what you can do.
In a nutshell chronic sorrow is defined as cycles of sadness where there is no predictable ending. It is different from unresolved sorrow. And according to the 5 Stages of Grief when most people come to accept a loss in time, others may become stuck in one of the grief stages. This may be denial or anger.
However, chronic sorrow can occur when it is one is not able to reach acceptance. This is often due to a continual series of triggers.
According to the National Institute of Health records the following are hallmark symptoms of chronic sorrow:
- Internal and external triggers that create a feeling of loss
- Disappointment
- Fear
- Progression of sadness years after the initial loss
In addition to the above it is possible that people who suffer a loss such as death may experience sorrow that is chronic in nature.
Examples:
One example is caring for someone whose medical condition can change quickly and unexpectedly. Each time there is a health crisis its evokes feelings of loss. These feelings of chronic sadness can occur in when there is a major loss. I came to experience such sorrow when struggling with the death of my son.
Parents of chronically ill children, who lack typical childhood milestones may experience triggers. This can occur when a ill child may never walk, say their first word, attend school, or participate in everyday childhood activities.
Each time one of these milestones is missed, it may trigger a feeling of loss. Similar triggers can happen for For spouses caring for a partner with dementia. They miss out on birthdays, anniversaries, and visits from children when the person with dementia doesn’t remember the significance.
The repeated disappointment the caregiver feels is part of chronic sorrow.
Caregivers may fear that the next health crisis will take away whatever sense of normalcy they currently have. They may fear increased caregiving demands or be unable to meet the patient’s needs. They may also fear the death of the patient and losing their identity as a caregiver. People with MS may fear their loss of control and their response to the progression of their disease.
Each health crisis that brings decline contributes to increased sadness. Years after the initial diagnosis, loss can be compounded by these repeated triggers. Unlike the sorrow associated with a death, chronic sorrow progresses with each additional loss.
Who Can Chronic Sorrow Affect
In general society likes to put things into a nice little box and give it a label. So with this is mind below is just a few examples of those who may become affected with chronic sorrow.
- Parents or caregivers of children with chronic health conditions
- Patients with Multiple Sclerosis during their middle, or independent period
- Elderly spouses caring for a partner with dementia
Triggers that contribute to chronic sorrow:
- Health Care
- Disease Management
- Community Support
Ongoing Health Care
It is natural for patients and caregivers to heavily rely on the health care system. But often their chronic sorrow and worries get triggered when health care staff do not respond to their needs. Dealing with rude, unsympathetic, or overworked staff can trigger feelings of loss. In addition it may evoke fear that their future needs won’t be met.
The repeated cycle of medical crises and hospitalizations may trigger patients’ and caregivers’ feelings of loss. Multiple, life-long medications or repeated medications may also contribute to chronic sadness. The uncertain future of a patient with a chronic illness, who often develop numerous medical conditions as they decline, can trigger the repeated feeling of loss and sadness.
Lack of Support
Some caregivers and patients also experience chronic sorrow because of the losses associated with a lack of community support. Friends and family may not understand or be able to adjust to the medical condition changes, isolating the chronically ill and their families from social gatherings or contact.
Behavior
Caregivers may feel embarrassed by a patient’s’ behavior, which can change drastically with diseases like dementia. A patient with MS who needs additional help may also feel a stigma associated with their loss of physical abilities.
Counseling that may be effective include:
- Social Contact
- Spiritual Counseling
- Family Counseling
Friends and Community
By nature humans are social creatures. Supportive family and friends are crucial for those who are dealing with chronic sorrow.
can relate to both the medical and non-medical aspects of life with a chronic illness help support those who are experiencing it.
Spiritual Guidance for Chronic Sorrow
Many people turn to religion or spirituality for support with chronic sorrow, grief, loss and difficult times.
Family Counseling
Family counseling can help children define their role in the family as a sibling of a chronically ill child. In addition is can provide support for parents in these times of turmoil.
For those suffering with MS family counseling can be helpful. It can help to communicate and express their sense of loss to family members and loved ones.
Financial Assistance
Medical expenses for chronic illness can be incredibly costly. This additional pressure adds stress when trying to cope with illness in these difficult times. Seek any assistance of local health authorities to see if there is available financial support or accessible housing. Any additional financial assistance may help to lessen the stress when coping with chronic sorrow triggers.
Self Care
In difficult times it is easy to put self care on the back burner. But now more than ever is it important to eat right, get adequate sleep and have some alone time to do something just for you. After all it is not possible to care for anyone else or process your thoughts if you are running on empty.
Concluding a Brief Overview of Chronic Sorrow
Chronic sorrow is a complex and ongoing situation caused by the repeated losses felt from managing chronic illness. Above is merely a simple overview. Getting support and online counseling can help those experiencing chronic sorrow and provide a respite from some of their concerns. And of course talk to your Dr and seek professional help in any such difficult times.
