Feeling Loss of Control and Grief Is it Normal
When you lose someone, or experience some type of trauma there are many confusing, anxiety provoking feelings. Feeling a loss of control and grief often go hand in hand. So if you feel that everything is out of your control, or you feel a need to control things, this is normal. This feeling is For many people having control in a given situation equates to managing expectations and outcomes in their lives.
When a loss occurs, the ability to manage expectations and outcomes goes completely out of the window. This brings about a lot of stress and anxiety for many people. And the thought of the unknown can be daunting.
How to Deal With a Loss of Control
But there are healthy ways to deal with loss, and the feelings of loss of control. In this article we’ll talk about ways to bring back a sense of control when everything seems to make no sense at all.
Express Yourself
It’s normal to feel anxious, scared, or angry during a time of grief. Loss changes so much in our lives, and it is normal to wonder if there will ever be anything normal. One of the best ways to release these feelings that is completely okay is to express yourself.
Take time to talk about your feelings. Or journal about the, if you prefer you can journal about the loss of control when grieving, and anything else you need to express about your grief.
Give yourself permission to feel and express those feelings. Because your feelings are yours, they are valid and it is okay to say what you need and feel.
Shift Focus
The best way to cope with a loss of control is to focus on what you can control. There is so much we don’t know when it comes to grief and loss – how long it will long, what are the impacts, or will life ever go back to normal. And the list could go on and on.
Rather than spending the majority of our time stressing about things we cannot control, try and think about some on what you can control. This helps us manage our anxiety and avoid getting lost in a sea of unknowns. Easier said than done but it is important to try.
Remain Hopeful
It can be easy to give in to hopelessness when faced with a grief and loss. However, having a inkling of hope that things will eventually get easier is key to coping during a difficult time. Solely focusing on those things, we cannot control will foster feelings of hopelessness and sorrow.
Being Thankful for Small Things
When there are so many negatives attached to grief, finding something to be thankful for can pose somewhat of a challenge. However, gratitude is a very practical way to manage loss of control when grieving, and the stress, anxiety, and panic it can induce.
When we find and are intentional about focusing on those things we are grateful for, we shift from a negative focus on what we can’t control to a positive focus on. Small things can bring us joy and gratitude. This can go a long way in lifting our spirits and attitudes during such a stressful time.
Creating a New Normal
Grief brings a time to create a new normal. And we must find new ways to deal with the impact of this life changing event. One thing that grief teaches is that there are few things in life that we truly are able to control. No, that does not make your grief any easier but it teaches us to let go of the small things. That they are just that small, and we can take the time to focus on what matters.
Concluding Loss of Control and Grief
Striving to process how we feel, by looking for the best, and letting go of what we cannot control will help on our journey through grief and loss. In our lives and remaining hopeful that this grief will one day will get better will help to better cope with this grief. And make life more bearable one day at a time.
