How to Help Children Grieve the Loss of a Pet
The loss of a pet may be a child’s first experience of death. Tough it will likely be upsetting and uncomfortable you can use this opportunity to teach them about coping with grief. It goes without saying pets are part of our family. And there is grief and pain that inevitably accompanies the joy of sharing our life with another living creature.
Most kids love their pets very deeply are strongly connected, while others may not be sure what has occured.
Anger, Kids and the Loss of a Pet
When a child suffers the loss of a pet, they may feel angry. Kids may blame themselves or you—for the pet’s death.
Fear of Losing Others
A death of a pet may bring up all sorts of fears and emotions. A child may worry this will happen to others around then. They may begin to worry that they will lose a parent, friend or others they love.
How you handle the grieving process can determine whether the experience has a positive or negative effect on your child’s personal development.
Should You Hide Your Pets Death from a Child?
Some parents feel they should try to shield their children from the sadness of losing a pet They may avoid talking about the death, make up stories in an effort to protect them from hurt. And while well intentionally, it may hurts kids in the long run.
Pretending the pet ran away, or “went to sleep,” for example, can leave a child feeling even more confused. The unknown may leave children making up their own conclusion and your discomfort may inadvertently teach kids not to ask questions, or trust if and when they finally learn the truth.
It’s far better to be honest about the loss, and allow children to grieve in their own way.
Let your child see you express your own grief at the loss of the pet
If you don’t experience the same sense of loss as your child, respect their grief. Sometimes kids may not react ir they seem to ‘get over’ the loss quickly. While other will react in others ways.
And since grief does not come with a hand book there are thing you can do to help them express their feelings. This way the can openly grieve without making them feel ashamed or guilty.
Children should feel proud that they have so much compassion, and they care deeply about their pets.
Here are a few ways to help kids grieve the loss of a pet:
Involve Your Child in the Process
If you chose euthanasia for your pet, be honest with your child. Explain why the choice is necessary and give the child chance to spend some special time with the pet and say goodbye in their own way.
Reassure Your Child
that they weren’t responsible for the pet’s death. The death of a pet can raise a lot of questions and fears in a child. You may need to reassure your child that you, their parents, are not also likely to die. It’s important to talk about all their feelings and concerns.
Create a Memento of the Pet
Sometimes creating a momento about the pet is helpful in the grieving process. This could be a special photograph, or a plaster cast of a paw print, or they can write a special story about their pet.
Memorial for a Pet
Yes, you can have a funeral or a memorial service for a pet. Allow the child to be involved in any memorial service if they desire. Holding a funeral or creating a memorial for the pet can help your child express their feelings openly and help process the loss.
Should You Get Another Pet
Do not rush out to get the child a “replacement pet” before they have time to grieve. It is tempting to want to ease the pain, but that can unknowingly send the wrong message that everything is replaceable.
Making the decision to put a pet to sleep
Deciding to put your animal companion to sleep is one of the most difficult decisions you will ever have to make for your pet. As a loving pet owner, though, the time may come when you need to help your pet make the transition from life to death, with the help of your veterinarian, in as painless and peaceful a way as possible.
Knowing when it’s time to put a pet to sleep
Euthanasia for a beloved pet is highly personal decision and usually comes after a diagnosis of a terminal illness and with the knowledge that the animal is suffering badly. Your choices for your pet should be informed by the care and love you feel for the animal. Important things to consider include:
- Activity level – Does your pet still enjoy previously loved activities or are they able to be active at all?
- Response to care and affection- Does your pet still interact and respond to love and care in the usual ways?
- Amount of pain and suffering –Is your pet experiencing pain and suffering which outweigh any pleasure and enjoyment in life?
- Terminal illness or critical injury- Have illness or injury prohibited your pet from enjoying life? Is your pet facing certain death from the injury or illness?
- Talk to your family-Is your family unanimous in the decision? If not, and you still feel it is the best thing for your pet, can you live with the decision that you have to make?
If you do decide that ending the suffering is in your pet’s best interest, take your time to create a process that is as peaceful as possible for you, your pet, and your family.
You may want to have a last day at home with the pet in order to say goodbye, or to visit the pet at the animal hospital. You can also choose to be present during your pet’s euthanasia, or to say goodbye beforehand and remain in the veterinary waiting room or at home.
This is an individual decision for each member of the family. On a personal note I was terrified to be present with my pet. However, each time the process was incredibly peaceful, and I was at peace to end suffering that could not be resolved in any other way.
It is such a personal choice, but I want to share that I was at peace being with them at the end through a peaceful procedure.
What to expect when putting your pet to sleep
According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, euthanasia for a pet is most often achieved by injection of a death-inducing drug. The veterinarian may administer a tranquilizer first to relax your pet. Following the injection of the euthanasia drug, your pet will immediately become unconscious. Death is quick and painless. Your pet may move its legs or breathe deeply several times after the drug is given, but these are reflexes and don’t mean that your pet is in pain or is suffering.
How to Explain Pet Euthanasia to a Child
Be honest. Start by explaining that your pet is ill, and suffering badly. And that you have the ability to end that suffering that is gentle and kind for the pet. You can explain that the injection is a very peaceful and painless process for your pet. Sometimes, when you really love a pet, you have to make these kinds of difficult decisions to spare the pet from more pain and suffering.
Kids tend to feed off of how their parents react to and cope with the loss of a pet. If you hysterical or feel it’s the wrong decision, your child will likely react in a similar way. If you’re sad, and deal with that sadness in a healthy way, your child will follow your example.
As long as you’re putting your beloved pet to sleep for the right reasons, tell your children that it is OK to feel sad.That there is no reason to feel bad or guilty. And it is the right thing to do.
You should feel sad, and your children can feel sadness, this is a healthy emotion under the circumstance. The loss of a pet is never easy, but grief and loss is part of the human experience. Teaching kids about the loss of a pet can help them grow into caring pet companions into adulthood. It teaches them care, respect and compassion throughout the life.
