Coping the Changes that Come After a Loss
We often associate grief after the loss of a loved one. But grief can follow the end, or any change in life. It may be the end of a relationship, a job, a when one gets a medical diagnosis or living with a medical change. People can suffer grief after any altering life change. Today we talk about coping with grief after life changes.
Grief is what happens when the emotional toll begins to sink in after something or someone that you love is no longer here. Its an emotion that embodies several different emotions all in one. Though grief tends to be lumped into one word, it maybe best to describe grief as a process rather than an emotion.
Grief can be caused by any number of losses, in fact any loss can trigger the process of grief. Below are a few examples of grief triggers:
- divorce or end of a relationship
- loss of a job, or switching jobs
- miscarriage
- health diagnosis or change in health
- sudden loss of a lifelong dream
- Even a small loss can trigger grief, such as graduating high school or moving to a new place
What is the Grieving Process
No two individuals grieve in the exact same manner. Your personality, coping mechanisms, experience in life, and even your faith can all affect the way that you grieve. One thing, though, remains constant among all of the various processes of grief. Grief takes time.
For some, healing will begin in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process may continue for years. No matter what your process looks like, it is important to note that your process is your own and it is okay.
Tips for Coping with Grief After a Life Change
Almost all loss is accompanied by grief, no matter how small. However, there are some ways that you can more easily manage and move through your grief.
- Process rather than trying to move on too quickly and causing yourself emotional pain
- Do not ignore your pain. The best way to help the grieving process is to acknowledge that loss
- Acknowledge that loss may be painful
- Understand that grief may cause different emotions like anger
- Accept that your process may look a little different from others
- Talk to someone you trust or get online therapy to heal
What are the Stages of Grief
To help gain an understanding of grief and loss here is a brief overview of the stages of grief. In 1969, there a publication that discussed the “stages of grief” by a psychiatrist Dr. Elizabeth Ross. She introduced these stages of grief after studying terminally ill patients. However, over time these have become widely accepted as a general list of the stages of grief to help in coping with grief after any kind of loss. Now this is not to say you will experience it all and in the same order. But the stages can be helpful in understanding what one may experience.
The stages of grief are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Of course, these are not the only stages or emotions that you may experience when working through a major loss. However, experiencing these moments in grief is normal. It also holds true that a grieving person may not experience each of these stages of grief.
Grief After a Life Change Is Unique
After all, we are all unique and each of us copes with loss differently. However, if you are experiencing one of these stages of grief, it is important that you allow yourself to work through the emotions.
Working through grief means you may face extremely difficult emotions. And you may experience them for uncomfortable periods of time. However, ignoring these stages of grief, or stuffing them down may actually prolong the grieving process.
It is also important to mention that coming into the acceptance stage of grief does not mean that you are doing anything wrong. Some people worry that accepting a loss is similar to dishonoring that loss. That simply is not true. In fact, accepting a loss is a way of honoring that loss to remember it in a more positive light.
Get Help for Grief When Life Changes
Moving through grief after a loss or life changes can be difficult. Grief can be a lonely place and its often times hard to find a friend who can lend a ear when you need to vent or help you to sort out your next steps. One way however is to talk to a therapist online. Or get a coach when you are ready to move forward with guidance. Investing in yourself is never a waste and it can help you to move through your grief and come out stronger on the other side.
Final Thoughts
Grief is a process that looks different for each of us. No matter what your grieving process is, you need to allow yourself time to work through it so that you allow yourself to move on with a new normal life once again. Do what you need to take care of yourself!
