Are Avoiding Feelings in Grief – Why Avoiding Feelings Make It Worse
When was the last time you wanted to feel bad? No one wants to feel pain, sorrow or anything that hurts. So if you are avoiding feelings it is likely because you are desperate not to feel any pain.But if you are avoiding feelings, a few things can happen. And, in the long run your pain will still be there and most likely it will be worse.
You will most likely wind up feeling then anyway, often when you are least prepared to deal with them. And avoiding your feelings can suck more by creating negative behaviors that impact your life.
While it’s possible to avoid bad feelings for a time, they often resurface, leading you from bad to worse ways to avoid them. Saying you’re okay and being okay can be two different things. As an example, consider a coworker who is mean to you.
The feelings you have of embarrassment or anger you have suck. But if you don’t acknowledge those feelings and overcome them, you may find yourself gossiping about your coworker, intentionally trying to sabotage them, or passing up the opportunity to work on a project if they’re involved.
Losing your job for not being a team player and stepping up for a project sucks more!
Avoiding feelings in grief can lead to:
- Relationship damage
- Lost opportunities
- Helplessness
- Hopelessness
- Poor health
Damaged Relationships
Whatever your reason is for disliking someone, avoiding how you feel about them can damage your other relationships. In business, not everyone likes each other, but to work together as a team, everyone needs to value each other’s contributions and work toward a goal. If you avoid confronting someone and sorting out your differences, you may find yourself sidelined at work or even lose your job.
Family relationships suffer when you avoid bad feelings too. If you let your resentment of your in-laws poison every family gathering, you may soon find your primary relationship damaged also. Not liking your child’s teacher will only hurt you more if you don’t find a way to deal with it. You and your child may be labeled as difficult or unreasonable by other teachers as well.
Lost Opportunities
Avoiding your worst feelings can make you afraid of engaging in any activity that evokes retriggering feelings. This means if crowds or being around certain people makes you anxious you may avoid social gatherings.
These gathering take you further away from people that may help and lead you further from the support you need. Hiding away from co workers as a means to avoid your feelings may take you away from opportunities that may help you financially or in ways to help your self esteem and growth.
Helplessness
Feelings that suck often involve feeling helpless. If you’re afraid to ask for help because you don’t want to feel stupid or it makes you feel embarrassed. All you’re doing is setting yourself up for more loneliness and disconnect. Avoiding asking for help can may healing in grief and times of loss more difficult in the future.
Imagine feeling bad because you don’t know how to what to do. Maybe you know someone who has been through tough times; they overcame anxiety, depression and struggled with loss. But you don’t want to appear upset or vulnerable so you rather avoid your feelings.
You can hide or try and avoid your feeling for a while, but at some if you time you will need to get help in a means to move the your grief and loss.
Hopelessness
One of the worst outcomes of avoiding your bad feelings is when you start to think you will never overcome what makes you feel bad. Bad feelings about yourself can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and hopelessness. Your life becomes a battle against constant bad feelings. To avoid some feeling that hurt you may find yourself feeling that way all the time. These feeling take you full circle and stuck in these terrible feelings.
Don’t let avoiding feelings drag into traps that make you feel even worse. Take time to ask for help. And if it is not from a friend or family then get help from a therapist. Often getting help from a neutral person can is helpful when moving through difficult times.
There are lots of options for therapy. Such as traditional in person therapy and therapy online. These therapist can often provide you with ways to address difficult feeling instead of avoiding them. And when you address what you are feeling,you can then look forward to moving forward to the other side.
Therapy to Manage and Treat Avoiding Feelings in Grief
The best way to start managing your symptoms is to develop healthier coping mechanisms. These will allow you to identify, accept, and process your emotions. Therapy can provide the opportunity to express and understand your emotions as well as examine the sources of those emotional responses.
To help manage your feelings visit Online-Therapy to learn more.
