Is Sadness Anger in Disguise
Often when you encounter an angry person, the chances are their anger is sadness. Anger is pent up energy that often shows up to hide hurt and pain. Anger is also used as a distraction from a person sadness. Sometimes it is easier to be angry, or put the anger on other people rather than facing any hurt, pain and disappointment. And oftentimes angry people have little or no idea what their anger is all about.
See How Online Therapy Works for to Calm Anger <
Anger is Secondary Emotion
Anger often shows up as a secondary emotion rather than a primary emotion. Which means that anger isn’t the initial reaction to a situation or an experience.
Rather, that anger is a response a person formulates if they are unable or unwilling to fully accept and feel the primary emotion.
For example some the the common primary emotions may include fear, guilt, anxiety, and most commonly sadness.
It is the suppression of the sadness, the energy exerted, and the frustration experienced while doing so that becomes the angry response that shows up.
Alternate Viewpoints of Anger
Steven Stosny examined this from a psychological and chemical standpoint in his 1995 book Treating Attachment Abuse. He ascertained that anger could act as a psychological salve.
So, if an individual is faced with physical or psychological pain the internal activation of anger will come before the release of a chemical expressly designed to numb it.
Stosny goes on to point out that symptomatic anger covers up the pain of our core hurts. Overtime if people rely on anger to ward off feelings of hurt and pain, individuals can grow dependent on anger, even to the point of addiction (Seltzer, 2008).
There is also a take on anger that suggests its function is to establish safety in relationships by creating boundaries. This perspective suggests that anger is used as a “yardstick” of sorts to keep people at a safe emotional distance to prevent themselves from being hurt.
In situations where they find someone may be getting too close, they may be getting asked to be more vulnerable than they are comfortable with. Or maybe someone is demonstrating threatening behavior anger is wielded to create space and distance (Seltzer, 2008).
How to Cope with Anger Masking Sadness
The key in dealing with anger in a successful way is to first take a pause in the moment or in the midst of the situation. Rather than reacting in the moment, take time taken to process what is actually happening.
Is Anger Bad?
In short, no. There are times when anger is a primary response.
Get Online Therapy for Anger
When anger becomes the ruling emotion for sadness it takes a hold of a person’s life. It can destroy careers, relationships and life in general. One of the ways to manage anger is with a therapist. A good therapist is judgement free. And they will help to identify the root of the anger and then help a person to address and manage what is going on in a healthier way.
There are online therapists that do just that. Online therapy offers affordable ways to get therapy. In addition they match people with the best therapist for them. And they offer options for confidential treatment.
With the use of worksheets, talk therapy and simple strategies it is more than possible to get rid of anger. Wouldn’t it be amazing to trade anger and sadness for a life full of improved relationships, careers and all the opportunities you want in life?
Visit Online -Therapy Today! < and get 20% OFF
If this is the true emotion you feel in response to a situation, then that is fine. However, if sadness is the true primary emotion that exist, then the sadness is the emotion that needs to be addressed.
The next and most essential step is to feel the sadness in its fullness. If the the emotions are not addressed completely there is room for the sadness to return. In addition the anger may return and it may continue to build and get worse.
Allowing yourself to rest in the sadness can help to process it and understand why it exists (get to the root). It’s important not to rush so you can thoroughly and clearly identify all factors contributing to the sadness and appropriately address them (Nash, 2014).
Processing the Reasons for Sadness
Finally, once you’ve processed the reason for your sadness and addressed it, you can move forward an engage more positively with other people. Once the sadness has been accounted for and managed, there is no need for an angry secondary response.
Thus, you become free to engage in healthy, safe, vulnerable relationships with the people in your life. Anger no longer has to act as a barrier because there is nothing to block or protect from. This then becomes the key to emotional freedom.
Concluding Sadness Is Anger in Disguise
So, the next time you find yourself dealing with someone who is having an angry outburst, try to be patient. It is possible that their anger is sadness.
Likewise, if you find yourself responding to a situation in anger, pause, reflect, and try to uncover what is the sadness that may be behind the anger. The quicker you do, the quicker you can deal with it and get to a place of contentment.
Visit Online -Therapy Today! < and get 20% OFF
References:
Nash, J. (2014, April 15). From sad to mad: How suppressing your sadness invites anger. GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/from-sad-to-mad-how-suppressing-your-sadness-invites-anger-0415145
Seltzer, L. (2008, 11). What your anger may be hiding. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/what-your-anger-may-be-hiding
