Dealing with Anticipatory Grief
The COVID-19 outbreak is one thing that has highlighted a very real fear of anticipatory grief and fear of loss.
What is This Type of Loss
Anticipatory loss is just that, it is a loss that one is anticipating. It is a loss that has not yet occurred but is expected or assumed to take place. This loss could by physical (i.e. death of a loved one), economic ( the loss of a job or income), or even emotional (the anticipated loss of a relationship).
The expectation that this loss will occur then causes grief which can manifest as sadness, anger, depression, fear, anxiety, and isolation, among several other complex emotions.
Anticipatory grief was initially identified by psychiatrist Erich Lindemann in the 1940’s while studying the wives of World War II soldiers who were so sure their husbands would die in combat, they mourned their loss and moved on while the men were still living (Bulger, 2020).
Example of Anticipatory Grief
One massive example of anticipatory grief is COVID-19, and what has been created around it. Causing a situation where anticipatory loss and grief is thriving, and even commonplace. With the many unknowns that came with the pandemic, and, all that followed from media fear, confusion with health care and the tearing apart of families, creating immeasurable damage. All of which may of lead to anxiety, panic attacks, depression and anticipatory grief of some many changing factors.
Fear of dying, loss of a job, not being able to be with loved one through sickness or death. And now fearing what the future may bring. There is no denying that this is a trying time for all.
However, there are ways to deal with anticipated loss and anticipatory grief during these trying times.
One such way it to use hypnosis to help with anticipatory loss.
Slow Down Before Reacting
Our gut responses to our situations isn’t always the best because they are often purely based on emotion. While our emotions aren’t necessarily wrong, sometimes acting immediately on them can be detrimental.
Slowing down and taking a breath for a moment or even a day to process how we feel before we act can help us respond. And asking if this is true or according to whom is a healthier way to process what may or may not happen.
Reframe the Circumstances
While things going on around us aren’t the best, not everything is all bad either. Circumstances, media fear and confusion can easily cloud life and our outlook. However, it is possible to refram what is going on around us to help us reshape the way we see this pandemic.
Taking Thing Slower and Simplifying
For instance, the increased time with family or the ability to slow life down a little. By taking some time to find things (no matter how small) to celebrate and be grateful for, we can maintain a positive perspective that is essential for helping us stay hopeful (Razzetti, 2020)
Find Ways to Connect
While it can be tempting to isolate yourself when dealing with anticipated loss and anticipatory grief, it is important to find ways to stay connected to others. Connection with others will help you during times of grief, fear, and doubt. Whereas isolation only acts to further feed your fear and anxiety, loneliness and feelings of hopelessness. Connection to others will offer you the strength and support to keep going when you feel tempted to give up.
You are not by yourself during this taxing time. As we all do our best to navigate something we have never dealt with before, it is important we offer each other support and understanding. In doing so we can help one another manage our negative emotions and find the silver lining that will sustain us until life resumes to something that resembles what we once knew.
References:
Bulger, A. (2020, April 2). That COVID-19 feeling? It’s called ‘Anticipatory grief. Retrieved from https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/covid-19-feeling-called-anticipatory-145746400.html
©What’s Your Grief. (2017, April 18). Grieving before a death: Understanding anticipatory grief. Retrieved from https://whatsyourgrief.com/anticipatory-grief
Razzetti, G. (2020, April 7). How to cope with uncertain times. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/202004/how-cope-uncertain-times
©What’s Your Grief. (2017, April 18). Grieving before a death: Understanding anticipatory grief. Retrieved from https://whatsyourgrief.com/anticipatory-grief
