Will You Reach Accept in Grief
When it comes to grieving you wonder if you will ever have acceptance in grief. This is a difficult question, especially when you are grieving and angry with the loss of a loved one. Though the time is different for everyone in time most people come to accept the loss, Or at least as it is known in the stages of grief.
“Acceptance” is the last of the Five Stages of Grief as developed by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler. In short, the stage signifies the end of the grieving process. This typically allows a person to return to their normal everyday life. With this said I want to clarify that this article is about the stages of grief and not my personal feeling. This is a normal
There’s quite a significant misconception about this stage. So, let’s go over what the “acceptance” stage really entails.
Misconception About Acceptance in Grief Stage
Many people assume that the term “acceptance” in this case means that you’re okay with the loss. Yet, that’s not exactly true. Acceptance simply means that you have reached a stage and acknowledged that the loss will occur or has occurred. It does not make it right, or doesn’t mean that you will be back to normal as mentioned above.
5th Stage of Grief
Once you reach this final stage, you may experience a wave of calmness or peace. At that point, you’re ready to continue on with your life and develop what you consider to be a new sense of normal.
Because of this misconception, it is understandable to wonder why some people seen to ‘get over’ grief when you are still there. It may appear that others who are handling the same loss might feel as if you didn’t care all that much. But since grief is such a unique experience each person will show or not show how they are feeling or what they are thinking.
Don’t feel guilty about reaching the acceptance stage, especially if you reach it before somebody else who’s also experiencing the loss. Everybody grieves differently and there’s no timeline on grief.
Creating a “New Normal”
Let’s say you come to acceptance in grief, or come to terms with the loss, your life will forever be impacted in some shape or form. Life as you know will not be normal as you once knew it because it is forever changed. With this said you will however have some form have a new normal life.
So, your new normal might entail….
- Waking up alone or not having a person to reside with if your spouse passed away. Or maybe you suffer the loss of a child along with hopes and dreams of their future.
- You may need to get used to your new limitations. That may require asking for help if you’ve recently been diagnosed with a medical condition or disability.
- New normal may require starting over after a loss, divorce or a traumatic life change.
- Getting used to doing things for yourself that you never experienced before. It is as if you may need to reinvent parts of who you are.
- Having roller coaster emotions.
- But there may be times that surprise yourself as you may be stronger when you need to be than you imagined.
A lot of it comes down to being comfortable adjusting to the new changes after the loss. It might take a while to reach this stage. But this stage allows you the chance to work through the grief and move on with your life.
Shifting Your Perspective
When you reach this stage, you’re most likely going to notice that your perspective is permanently altered. Rather than thinking about your lost loved one or the tragic loss, you might find yourself reminiscing about happy memories (or positive aspects) instead. If this is not the case you may shift a little in time, Remember that our grief is unique, it is not a race and adjusting may be quicker or slower. But in time, and it may not feel like right now it will get a little easier.
So, instead of thinking about how stressful their last few days were, you might begin to feel thankful that you were able to spend their last few days on Earth with them.
Concluding Acceptance and Grief
The acceptance stage is perhaps the most important stage of grief, but not all people will be able to reach it. It takes a lot of time and emotional anguish to experience the acceptance stage.
You’ll know you’ve reached this stage when you slowly begin to return to a new normal. This is a time when grief is not all consuming but you can life alongside it. When you can live without having the grief hold you back.
