Why You Must Take Time To Grieve
Grief Takes Time and That Time is Unique to Everyone ~Andrea Preece
When you experience any type of loss, there is a time to mourn. This period is what is typically called grief. In this article we talk about taking time to grieve in the hope it will allow you to move through grief in the best way that you can. Grief may be caused by the loss of someone you love, a divorce or breakup, a recently diagnosed illness, or financial troubles. Grief is a unique experience to each one of us. And so is the time frame. Depending on all of our life experiences grief will affect each person differently.
Are There 5 Stages of Grief
Grief usually comes in five stages: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. By allowing yourself the opportunity to grieve, it may give you the ability to address your grief as it comes. This way you may return to your ‘normal’ or in some cases new normal everyday life much sooner.
What If You Avoid Time for Grief
There is no denying grief is a painful process for many people. It is something that we will all experience at some time in life, and we will all experience grief in a unique way.
Many people will suffer extreme discomfort, and other will move through their grief easier. There is no right or wrong, there just is… . But not addressing your grief has the potential to set you back emotionally and mentally in both the short and long-term. Grief can be all consuming and it has the power to destroy your life and those around you if you do not process it. So, let’s go over what can happen if you completely avoid the grieving process.
Avoidance – Avoid Taking in Time to Grieve
No matter what type of loss you experienced, there are triggers in your life that might remind you of this loss. These triggers might be specific people, places, a song on the radio, or even a precious gift from your loved one. The triggers can occur when you least expect it, and in some cases they never leave.
When you don’t take the time to grieve, you might go out of your way to avoid these triggers. That can completely disrupt your life. And in some cases you might even begin to experience anxiety due to the effort it takes to avoid your triggers and your grief.
Eventually, you’ll find yourself trapped inside your home. You may begin carefully planning out every step of your day to avoid reminders of your loss. This is a very difficult way to live but a reality for many people suffering.
Fearing Relationships
When you lose a person that’s very important to you, the grief can be even more intense than usual. Yet, not grieving the loss of a loved one might actually impact your current and future relationships without your knowledge.
You thought your loved one would be with you forever, but now they’re gone. So, you might be afraid of starting new relationships. You may fear letting people get too close out of fear that you’ll lose them eventually as well. In addition avoiding family and friends can happen. You want to be alone as you feel that no one will understand your pain. And while this may be true, the empathy of family and friends can be helpful.
In a sense, you’re always preparing for the worst when it comes to building close connections with other people.
Anger
Even if you’re not outwardly grieving your loss, both your body and mind are still experiencing the loss in some way. But rather than manifesting as sadness, it might show in the form of anger instead.
When you let your emotions get too built up, you’re much more likely to take them out on other people, especially the people you care about. Not grieving might lead you to lash out at those you love and strain your relationships permanently.
It’s as if you’re mad at the world for your loss while still denying yourself the chance to cope with your loss directly.
Depression
Just because you aren’t directly facing your grief head-on doesn’t mean that you aren’t still feeling the sadness inside. Not addressing your grief can also cause an overwhelming sadness that could eventually lead to depression.
So, instead of feeling the typical sadness of grief, avoiding your grief will eventually lead you to a more intense sadness than you wouldn’t have experienced otherwise. You might notice that you have a low mood, aren’t interested in your hobbies, or don’t care about anything anymore.
Not only will you have to deal with the depression, but you’ll also have to deal with the loss eventually to rid yourself of this depressed state.
Final Thoughts on Taking Time to Grieve
Even though it might seem easier to pretend the loss didn’t happen and just move on with your life, it’ll eventually build up and negatively affect you in the long-term.
So, it is best if to take time to grieve. Feel the feeling, cry, breathe and feel whatever it is. Word much as ‘deal’ is a simplistic word for a complex set of emotions. I rather use the term to move through grief. Take the steps as best you can to move through and feel your grief rather than letting anger, depression, avoidance, and fear pile up and eventually take hold of your entire life.
